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Part memoir of a modern Renaissance woman, part career advice, part ‘how to be an amazing lover’ instruction manual... 

Pleasure Central is definitely about sexAND... Pleasure Central is just as much about every other kind of pleasure.

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How do you have multiple relationships and feel deeply connected with multiple people?

May 13, 2018

[Not long ago, I was asked "How do you have multiple relationships and feel deeply connected with multiple people?” - and decided that rather than answering that directly - because, well, I didn't know how, I would give some examples from my life to demonstrate how my relationships fit into my life like a lovely puzzle. Show it, rather than tell it.]

Imagine this…

Imagine a person with which you have the BEST sexual chemistry with ever. Imagine getting to have them come over after work and sleep over a few times a month. And imagine getting to go hiking or skiing or rock climbing with that person regularly too.

These are their favorite things to do, and they have all the gear. All that is required is that you show up. And because you are pretty good at these things too, you urge each other on to greatness and further depths of joy within your relationships.

Now imagine that they have spent 4+ years learning your bodies signals, finding out what you like and playing with your body and your hot buttons in all the right ways. How delicious is THAT?!


Imagine this…

Imagine the partner you have the utmost respect for. Someone who is a few years ahead of you in your career and always willing to talk and share and bounce ideas around with you.

Imagine getting to spend a few hours or an overnight with that person monthly. You love to do the same things, eat the same kinds of food, your ideal nights out on the town are often identical. You make similar enough amounts of money that you both feel free and comfortable wherever you go, and fairly often they treat you to a special meal or activity just because.


Imagine this…

Imagine falling in love magically one day, quite by pleasant surprise. And then to add to that bliss, finding out they feel the same way about you as you do about them!

Imagine that person lives a few states away, however, they travel for work often enough (as do you) that you are able to connect for a weekend at least once a month.

There are frequent digital love letters sent back and forth, and the rush of excitement when you see the notification on your phone that an email has arrived from your love.

A part of your brain is now focused on how quickly you can step out of this meeting and read it because you know it will be a juicy, long email and full of thoughtfulness, flirtations and reminders of their love for you. The anticipation and excitement in this relationships are so delicious!

Not only do you build a habit of getting to see each other often, but you develop the habit of giving each other your FULL attention while you are connecting. Not cell phones, no work, nothing but play and full bandwidth intimacy & connection.


Imagine this…

Imagine that years ago, you rendezvoused with someone who is hot, intriguing and vaguely in your line of work (similar paths, same passions, different niches of the industry). You’ve reconnected this summer thanks to a random, out of the blue question from a friend and on your second meeting, the sparks begin to fly.

It's obvious that there is something there to be explored, and the timing (which was off the first time you met years ago) is much better now. One thing leads to another and before you know it, you have developed a casual dating relationship. The mental chemistry is as fulfilling as the physical chemistry is enlivening. The sex is hot (uniquely satisfying, and in many ways, it’s brand new to you and seriously inventive).

A new idea is sparked, and together you launch a project that provides you both incredible growth for your careers AND the most enjoyable weekly project - the kind of thing you would do together even if there was no money in it.


Imagine this…


Imagine some hot, very desirable person comes to one of your regular social events and likes what you have to say. They make an effort to connect with you later and suggest a rendezvous. It’s all you imagined and more. Incredibly satisfying, totally free and above all, hot as fuck.

They leave the country for a while, then come back. You happen to be one of the first people they bump into. It’s even better than the first time. You enjoy spending time together in the same space. The connection is true and ever-present, never suffocating.

Your natural inclinations are complementary to each other. They love to cook, you love to eat what they cook. You love to make people think, they love thought-provoking conversations. They go off to live on an organic farm for the summer, you get to go visit them, unplug and be totally hedonistic for the entire weekend.

Saturday night dinners and homemade amazing Sunday brunches become your habit more often than not. 


Imagine this…

Imagine being a bit broken-hearted and raw, going on a long vacation to a transformational event. You are nervous and absolutely determined to get what you came for. It turns out everyone else is nervous too, and laughter and connections quickly ensue. With one other person in particular. 

Romance is the last thing on your mind - which is good because it's the last thing on his mind too. You connect in unexpected ways, and it turns out to be just what you both need to bring you the best transformation throughout the entire event.

You end up being brilliant mirrors for each other, and your thoughtful and kind communication helps bring together many lost, old, broken pieces. 

No promises are made, they can't be. No fear is left, it wouldn't survive this.

You have both found your footing and healed yourselves - you are whole again - separate and whole.